Flashback from 18 Feb.
Inspired by going to the gym (and not using the facility lol) on this day above 5 years ago.
5 years ago today, only final year students were allowed to stay back on the school premises while others were home for holiday. I was working on an environment-inclined research paper. While we kept working on our final project during that period, we also decided to do a lot more sporting activities, we played tennis, went swimming, ran, football, volleyball, and bought a lot of food from food vendors off the school campus. It was so much fun. The campus was filled with less than 7% of its usual population. Those long walks to the gate to pick up food while blasting music and frantically discussing a pop culture trend. Almost every night was for games and shots of alcohol.
Back then I thought, I probably won't miss this. I was eager to grow up. Boy was I wrong. I am realizing now that I didn’t allow myself the full immersion into the experience. Felt like I was always looking out the window as though something was coming for me and I wanted to get to it before it got me when I should have been facing the party display artist right in front of me. Now I am all grown to the point I was looking forward to now and it is just blah…. don’t get me wrong, I am very thankful for where I am now, I have worked hard and still working hard to be in a place I can identify myself with my goals and ambitions. The point still remains for me that, I am still the same me looking forward to an older version of myself and the cycle continues.
Looking forward to an older version of myself helped me set certain goals and roadmaps to achieving them. Looking forward to an older version of myself gave me a clear version of where I wanted to be. Then I thought my dreams were big, it seemed also uhmm I don’t want to use the word impossible or ambiguous, I guess maybe overwhelming. I am glad I allowed myself to be pushed beyond my comfort zone to a level of achieving and doing.
This version of me is ready to be in the moment with this version I have created to have a better hold on the next grown version of myself and live life. Tonight, we raise our glasses to be in the moment, to be awesome and self-challenging.